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"The bad noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.4. My son was thrown out of. This drug modified the breast growth DNA string and could be used until the desired size was achieved. It consisted of 5 centimeters absorbed through the skin on a dialy basis which this small amount could not be detected or would cause any side effects. I began the treatments by blending the drug into my wifes hand cream that she used on a daily basis. It was about 60 days before any noticible results to start taking effect. The wife started to mention that her boobs were swelling and her bras were becoming uncomfortable and I noticed her nipples were longer and remained hard and visible through the thin bras she was accustomed to wearing. After a trip to the bra store she came home complaining she had grown to a full C cup. That evening after a few glasses of wine with dinner, I was helping in the kitchen and began flirtatious moves on her. I noticed after snuggling up behind her and planting full kisses on the back of her neck she responded like never before. Her breathing became.
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